It's a Game Machine!
by Psyduck Ranger
Summary: A European trainer tries to play the slots at the Veilstone Game Corner, with disastrous consequences.


A/N: I'm sure there are plenty of people on this site who've played the European version of Pokémon Platinum, and discovered, with horror, that we can't play the slot machines, like we have for over ten years. I've just read that this is because of some EU legislation against gambling. This is particularly a kick in the backside for Brits like me, who don't even want to be in the EU. But that's another story. This would be fine, if somebody had actually thought to lower the price of those TMs. I mean come on, giving us about fifty coins a day, expecting us to buy the rest, for TMs that cost tens of thousands of coins? Ridiculous. So, this is basically just a little rant at how ridiculous it all is. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Pokémon, but I do own a mangled copy of Platinum, and a great hatred for the EU.

* * *

Lucas had heard good things about Veilstone City. He was looking forward to his gym battle, of course, as well as checking out the shopping centre – the largest in the region. He was also curious about some strange meteorites in the town that were a major tourist attraction. He had been warned, however, about a recent, rather serious crime wave that was plaguing the city; nothing his trusty Gliscor couldn't handle, he was sure.

Whilst cycling down the road, he spotted someone stood in a doorway dressed as a clown. The man waved him over and, ever polite, Lucas peddled towards him.

"You there!" he called, as Lucas dismounted his bike. "Watch this coin!"

The clown flipped the coin several times, before passing it back and forth between each hand. He span on the spot, leaving both hands behind his back.

"Which hand is the coin in?" he asked, with a fairly creepy grin.

Lucas didn't have a clue which hand he'd hidden the coin in, but took a guess anyway, "Left?"

"Bravo! That's what! For that, a prize!" he said. Lucas perked up at this prospect, and waited patiently as the man stepped into his house. When he returned he handed the young trainer a small box.

"It's a coin case! You can use it to store coins for playing games at the Veilstone Game Corner!" he laughed heartily. With that, the strange clown stepped back into his house and closed the door.

Lucas also knew about the town's game corner, but he'd heard it was run by the crime syndicate behind the town's problems. However, he took the coin case as a sign that he should check the place out himself.

He cycled round for a few minutes before finding his destination. The game corner was brightly lit up with neon signs, even in the middle of the day. Lucas tentatively stepped inside.

He made sure to ignore the patrons around him as he approached the main desk.

"Hello, welcome to the Veilstone Game Corner!" the receptionist said, with such a level of enthusiasm that Lucas could only assume it was genuine, "Would you like to buy some coins for the game machines?" she asked.

"Just to check, I mean, I'm obviously an adult; it doesn't matter that I'm underage, does it?" he asked.

"Of course not, at our chain of game corners, anyone of any age can play, so long as they can afford the coins to start off with!"

Lucas purchased a small number of coins to begin with, and approached a nearby machine. He saw a glint at the bottom of the machine, where the winnings were given.

"Hey, must be my lucky day! I've found five coins!" he grinned. He scooped them into his coin case, save for one, which he tried to deposit into the machine.

There was no slot for his coin. There was, however, a large button saying "Start". Using the keen logic that had won him two badges, Lucas deduced that pushing the button would start the game.

"It's a Game Machine!"

The screen lit up brightly with the words, before returning to the same state it had been in before Lucas had pushed the button. He frowned, but tried the button again. The same message came up. Shaking his head, Lucas decided to move away and try a different machine.

Whilst he found that several more people had left coins in their machines, Lucas couldn't figure out how to start any of them. He turned to someone successfully playing a machine to ask for help.

"Oh yeah, the game machines are great! I play 'em all the time! I've got a real knack for 'em," a rather large, sweaty man told him.

"Yeah, that's great, but how do you-?"

Lucas sighed as he realised the man was done talking, and had resumed his game.

He asked a dozen more customers for help, but they all simply spoke of their own winnings or losses.

There was a poster on the wall that said fizzy drinks could damage the machines. Lucas grumbled about how that might get them to work.

Eventually he returned to the helpdesk to ask the receptionist.

"Hello, welcome to the Veilstone Game Corner! Would you like to buy some coins for the game machines?" she asked again, as if she didn't remember their previous conversation.

"No thanks, look, how do you get the machines to work exactly? Every time I tried to start one it just said "It's a Game Machine!"

The woman didn't speak for a moment, before continuing. ""Hello, welcome to the Veilstone Game Corner!"

Lucas growled at her, and stormed back to the machines.

One by one, he pressed the start button on every available machine, and each time the same message came up "It's a Game Machine!" After the first few times a pair of loudspeakers on either side also boomed it at him, adding to his fury. When Lucas pushed the button on the final game machine, and the message simply replayed itself, he snapped.

A few dozen coins flew across the game corner, as Lucas hurled them at everyone and everything, screaming, "It's a Game Machine!"

After a few minutes, he paused to draw his breath. The receptionist tiptoed towards him.

"Excuse me, sir. I understand you've been having trouble with the game machines," she said. Lucas snarled, and reached into his coin case for something to throw, only to find it empty. The receptionist whimpered.

"We'd like to offer you this compensation," she said, dropping a disc in front of him. She ran back to her desk.

Lucas examined the disc and read, "TM64 – Explosion".

He began cackling. He placed the disc against a Dusk Ball, teaching the technique to the Pokémon held within.

The ball flew into the air, and when it hit the ground, an enormous rock snake popped out.

"ONIX, EXPLOSION!"

All that was ever found of Lucas was a used TM and a coin case.


End file.
